Passing Fancies

You tested me on my knowledge of the world and all its placements
Found much to displease you
The second time we met, I was prepared
And we spent the night testing one another like schoolchildren
I had done it to boost my own ego;
Prove myself to be an advanced homo sapiens
But you were fascinated by my tenacity and need to be correct
Others call this compulsion a psychosis
You thought it was sweet
And I let you.


You were the first boy to ever kiss my lips by choice
No force required
Though you needed a label for us, constant affirmation
That I would be there at the end of the day
To rise with you at dawn and never let your heart break
It was a promise I was too carefree to make, so I let you go
You seem happier now
The new girl can be all the things I wasn’t ready to
Say all the words I wouldn’t
And I’m happy for you.


You have always been my best friend with a quick quip
An easy laugh
Who keeps my feet firmly on the floor
You’re the limb I didn’t know I needed
The arm that sits spiritually around my shoulders
I’m not as strong as you and I’m sorry
That I complicated matters made it harder than it needed to be
But I’m also glad that I was brave for once and got to know
The greatest friend a girl could ever have
I’ll always love you, in the right way.


You were the first boy ever to remain in my conscious
The condition they call infatuation
And I would have sold my soul to be the girl on your arm
The only one you sent late night texts to
But instead I was indistinguishable from the guys
My adoration something to be afraid of
Of course now I can see it was lust not love
But it doesn’t heal the scars
That your knife of bitter reality cut into my delusions
Yet I thank you for your cruelty.


You’re the reason green is my favourite colour
Those eyes like shamrocks
Became the only shade of iris I wanted to stare into
So insane with longing
It wouldn’t have mattered whether the light still remained
Or disappeared into the night sky long before
I only wanted those eyes to return the affection
Had no use for your lips or your hands
They didn’t speak the truths I needed
I still crave that gaze.


These are the boys I have loved and hold in high regard
The ones who came before the men
The ones I hope never grow up and remain a memory
I can look upon fondly on my deathbed
My five Peter Pan’s to which I can always play Wendy
So I can always let the men be the Tarzan to my primal goddess
Because I have no use for boys anymore
But we women do like to play with our toys
The ones that remind us of who we were;

Fragile little girls who liked to fall in love.



Little Ginge x


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