Leap For Freedom

I couldn’t take it anymore
Bear the failure a second longer
Didn’t wish to define my life
In numerical measures
Quantifiable regrets
An unseen countdown
So I gritted my teeth
Placed my feet on the stool
Took a breath and jumped
Ripped the clock off the wall
Tore out the batteries
Grinned with relief

Stupid clock
Tick tock
Silent face

Happy place

 

 

Little Ginge x

The Smug Phrase

There’s no residual warmth left
no sign you were ever here
no echo of ‘I love you’
rattling through these walls
I said we didn’t say it enough

The only things that serve
as a reminder that you once
breathed within these walls
are the rings from the
coffee mugs I nagged you about

And I can’t go outside
watch all the happy couples
they make me sick
I wish they’d disappear
or their happiness would turn to misery

You tore our happy home apart
and I won’t say ‘I told you so’
because you’re not here to hear it
I refuse to speak to invisible ears

but it’s not like they ever listened anyway.

 

Little Ginge x

Ragdoll

Pushed pulled
Dragged in all directions
Everyone has an agenda
but do I have a voice?
Bedraggled frustrated
Lonely
Stuffed like a butchers sausage
with all the information
‘you must know’
There’s no room for an opinion
or a dream of my own
Make my hair pretty
Smooth down my dress
Will that get me an invite
to your precious tea party?
Ragged wrecked
Simple useless doll
A ploy to your schemes
Inhuman, a tool
Dragged like a plough
in the straight lines you ordered
Sow your seed
when I’m pretty enough
Toss me in the trash
when I’m not
Ragdoll;

a child’s toy playing adult games.

 

Little Ginge x

Those Three Words

Those three words gave me hope
sat in the air innocently
left unattended and ignited my bones
passionate fire leaving only charred ivory behind
a flickering of dangerous menace
sultry visions clouding my view
came and went quicker than lightning
I was the tree you struck
recognition not even given a time frame
lost in the heat
the briefest glimmer
died in your eyes
burned on my tongue
choked me like perfume
the arsenic power of love
overpowering emotions in a ring of
green flames like a sacrificial Gatsby
powerful where I was weak
telling me you loved me last
and stopped first
I want to know the reason why
my breath hitched
ragged continued
why I gave up living
stopped trying
and it was okay
the world went on

when I didn’t.

 

Little Ginge x

New Bloom

I saw it from the corner of my eye;
a singular dandelion against a field of white
One sore thumb in a hall of fingers
Unseasonably beautiful
Curiosity peaked and I reached out
to grasp it from its precarious isolation
It’s cold winter jacket melting away at my touch
and a need for security in my impending years
overpowered so I took a breath
Destroyed the past and blew the future
wide open with a selfish wish
Hoping that it inspired growth somewhere
For blossoms to bloom in the darkest parts of my life
The time had come for rebirth and I hoped

to rise from the dirt and flower anew.

 

 

Little Ginge x

New Order

Dear Suicidal Thoughts,

I’d like to cancel my subscription; I recently took out a conflicting subscription to Chat and I feel this may benefit my life more. I enclose the free gifts I received as I no longer have any need for them. I’m aware that I’ve been a loyal member for many years and that you do offer a lifetime guarantee service, however my life is going in a different direction these days and your service doesn’t blend well with the image I’m trying to project.

Yours sincerely,

Recovering.

 

Little Ginge x

Needy Creatures

Can’t sink my demons they know how to swim
They also know how to climb and walk through walls
I wonder who told them I cater for their every whim
That they don’t need to yell; I hear all their calls
I can’t remember the last time I was fully alone
Blessed to write in silence without their jeering faces
Allowed to pencil in happy thoughts not postpone
Visit all these wonderful and exciting places
Instead of sitting at the desk by the keys
Trying to make the words heard above the din
Begging them to hear my cries and my pleas

Overpower the demons screaming ‘let me in’.

 

Little Ginge x

 

Colour Fades

I knew it was serious when she painted her nails black
Coupled with her new found love for violence with thumb tacks
She made me wish I could have my ex-girlfriend back
When she exited the bathroom with hair of ultra violet blue
She only saw the world and its people in a deep red hue
No longer did she say the words ‘I love you too’
Despite never being a godly man I felt the need to pray
Wondering why the transformation from pink to grey
Always ends in someone’s else’s dismay?
Is it wrong to want everything to return to just how it used to be
Tell her that’s she beautiful, cut her strings, say ‘be free’

But I know it’ll only end in a fight and the blame will be put on me.

 

 

Little Ginge x

Birdsong

A tune lost in the sunrise
Words unknown absent to the day
Each mornings planned surprise
To herald the suns first ray
Sweet shrills bring in the light
A song to rouse the heart of man
Banishing away the night

All part of mother nature’s plan.

 

 

Little Ginge x

Power Games

Rhythmic touch 123
Electric smile A-Z
Gratify yourself on a whim
Not sure if I like she with him
Constant flutter of the lashes
You tell me jealousy passes
But I don’t believe you
When you act so untrue
Don’t tell me it’s all in my head
As you willingly share our bed
Give me a reason to pledge allegiance
And if it’s good I’ll take your credence
But if it’s bad I’ll take what is mine
And it’ll be no pleasure divine.

 

 

Little Ginge x